Tag Archives: Humor

There’s Gold In Them Thar Cornflakes

You may want to pay closer attention to your cereal the next time you are eating them – apparently some Cornflakes are more collectable than others.

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Indexed

Indexed, the frustratingly brilliant work by Jessica Hagy, is absolutely in my current required daily reading list.

Why is her brilliance frustrating? Because I should have thought of that, dammit. 😉

My current favorite: Rock On! There’s Cream Cheese!

How To Make People Drive Faster

Here is a sure fire tip to get people to go at a speed at least 3-5 miles faster per hour than they are currently going. First, get into a lane on either side of them. As you are driving, position yourself so that they are close to one car length behind you, but still in a parallel lane to yours. Then, switch your turn signal on to indicate that you would like to be in the same lane they are, but in front of them. You will be amazed at how quickly the other car speeds up to make sure you have no room to merge, forcing you to slow down and get behind them if you want into their lane! Magic, I tell you… pure magic.

NKOTB Reunion

New Kids On The Block are reuniting. I… don’t have the words… for how absurd this is to me. Wow. When I heard this, I had a totally new emotional experience – I was so in shock from how funny it was, I couldn’t laugh. I just sort of had my mouth wide open in a smile, and then a couple of minutes later I found the ability to process thoughts again and moved on.

Just… wow.

Semicolon Suicide

Truly, the semicolon is one of the most pitiable, misunderstood creatures to ever walk the shelves of Borders and the pages of Amazon. Here’s a few examples of acceptable uses, though – uses that will make the semicolon feel welcome and appreciated, like one of the cool kids.

  • Bertha eventually left her McDonald’s fry cook boyfriend for a cashier at Taco Bell; the steak taquitos were just too tempting.
  • As a traveling magician, The Magnificent Zoltok found it easy to simultaneously woo girlfriends in Tupelo, Mississippi; Salem, Massachusetts; and Phoenix, Arizona.

Homerisms

An invaluable list of quotes by Homer Simpson, truly a genius in his own special way.

Time Teaches

“Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.” – Robin Williams
I was looking around for some good quotes about time management, stumbled onto this one, and just had to share.